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Compliment them if it’s good if you make them feel like a champion while they’re giving you head, they’ll want to come back more often to defend their title.
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If there’s something not right – it’s usually teeth, isn’t it? – then just ask them to be gentler (or harder), but in a way that sounds like you’re in the moment rather than telling them off. Talk to them, not about your fantasy Glastonbury lineup or what’s new in luxury watches, but about how it feels. Why? Because it’ll turn them on they’ll get off on your enthusiasm. Move! Moan! Pant! Show them you’re a) alive and b) enjoying it. Some people like the stage all to themselves, you know? Responding Make sure you ask before transitioning to a 69, too. What feels good for you might be an excruciating neck strain for them, and somebody with jangling pain receptors isn’t going to want this blow job to last very long. Shift them around a little if you like, ensuring that they’re OK with it and you’re both comfortable. It can be good for both of you to switch things up while it’s happening as thrilling as a blowjob is, the staging can get monotonous. Another good reason for not reaching for your phone to film is there will inevitably be a notification from your bank, your boss or an ex – or BBC News informing you of a devastating earthquake – that will instantly deflate you.
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Don’t put someone in the position where they worry saying no will kill the mood and say yes just to please you. In the throes of passion, people might agree to something they’d otherwise refuse – being high on lust is a bit like thinking you’re better at everything when you’re drunk. And who is this footage actually for? If you do want to preserve this blowjob for posterity, you must, must, must have the giver’s permission beforehand, like, before you even start, not during. Why? Well, it’s like those people who go to pop concerts – remember those? – and stand watching the entire thing through their phone screen. On the whole, I’d say don’t, not even if your phone is right there at the bedside. Touch your partner, lock fingers, stroke their hair, place your hands on their back or hips so you can feel the rhythm of their body or manoeuvre them ever so slightly. Whatever you do with your hands while you’re getting head – stroking your partner, stroking yourself, knitting a winter pullover – do not, under any circumstances fold them behind your own head and lie there like a paying customer. Intense staring might seem hot, but if you make them lose focus and they bite something off, don’t blame me. Should you, shouldn’t you? Is it creepy? Will you kill the mood if you cross your eyes in ecstasy at the wrong moment? What to do with your eyeballs is almost as much of a minefield as handling your other balls, but keep glances casual for the best results. Begging and pleading for a blowjob is not only pathetic, it makes it transactional and will lead to oral sex that comes from duty or coercion, not desire. Consentįirst up, before you get going, make sure this is something you both want to do. If you want the blowjobs to keep coming (sorry) and be of optimum quality, you need to ace your reactions. But they’re a two-way thing and I’m afraid you have a job to do too – there’s more to it than lying back and thinking of whichever territory your heart favours. You know exactly what you want from a blowjob – well, mainly, you just want them to actually happen, as often as possible.